


Maybe This Is Why I've Lost My Mind

by padawanhilary, Telesilla



Series: No Ordinary Life [3]
Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-22
Updated: 2007-08-22
Packaged: 2017-10-05 06:26:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padawanhilary/pseuds/padawanhilary, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telesilla/pseuds/Telesilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sean has some pretty serious news and Viggo needs to say something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe This Is Why I've Lost My Mind

Sean's still scowling by the time he gets to Viggo's, and he slams the car door harder than is strictly necessary to try to vent some of his ire. It doesn't do much good. Right now he can't even see straight, he's so angry.

He tries to take it easy when he knocks on the door, jaw clenching and unclenching compulsively. He'd expected it to be bad, but this was...this was just _insane._

Sarah opens the door and then blinks a little. "Sean," she says, "c'mon in. I'm surprised to see you this early." She knows that Sean's aware that Viggo's tends to sleep in late on weekend mornings; usually Sean doesn't come over until at least eleven.

As he comes inside, she notices how tense he is. "Is everything all right? Come back to the kitchen and have some coffee or something; you know it'll take a while for Viggo to wake up."

"'m sorry, Ms. Lawrence," Sean mumbles as he comes in, feeling a little foolish; he hadn't even paid attention to the time. He digs his hands into his pockets as he follows her through the house.

"I did it," he mutters a little morosely, helping himself to a mug and coffee. "I came out to them."

Sarah had been ready to go yell at Viggo's door, but now she stops and turns. Sean looks miserable and defiant and scared, and she remembers Viggo looking much the same way after he got back from coming out to her ex-husband.

"Oh sweetheart," she says, hugging Sean close, never mind the coffee cup. "That was very brave of you." She doesn't need to ask if it went well or not; that it didn't is obvious.

"I don't feel brave." Sean pulls back carefully, staring down into his cup. "He just..." And he lets out a disgusted noise and sets his cup down. "He's so bloody _closed._ It isn't just this, it's _everything._" Looking at Viggo's mother, sympathetic in a way Sean has never seen from his own mum, Sean feels an absurd urge to ask him if he can just adopt her as his parent.

"I'm so sorry," Sarah says. She's made it a point not to criticize Sean's parents, either to his face or when Viggo talks about them. The phrase _more money than sense_ always comes to mind, though. She squeezes his shoulder.

"Let me go see if Viggo's stirring."

Sean nods and lets her go, settling at the table and cupping his hands around his coffee. It strikes him abruptly that he can't even imagine going home at this point -- God only knows what his father's doing now. _Enrolling me in a military academy,_ Sean snorts inwardly.

"Go away," Viggo mumbles as someone, his mom probably, bangs on his door. "Too early...." He squints at his clock to make sure and yeah, it's just now ten.

"Sean's here," Sarah says, opening the door. Viggo rolls over and looks at her and it's hard for a moment; he looks so damn young. "C'mon. You need to get up."

"Sean?" Viggo blinks and nods. "Um...okay yeah. Just let me...." But she's already ducking out so he can get dressed.

A moment later he's stumbling into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. "Hey...what's up?"

Unbelievably, Sean is too distracted by his own angst to notice that Viggo's jeans -- his one lone piece of clothing -- are doing that clingy thing around his hips. He gets up to get Viggo some coffee. "Sorry," he says. "I had nowhere else to go." His throat tightens as he pours and goes on, "My dad and I had it...well, out," he laughs bitterly. "I told him."

"Oh wow," Viggo says. He takes the coffee even though he really doesn't need it in light of this news. "Are you okay?"

"No. Well -- you'd think I would be. I knew he wouldn't understand, I knew he'd react just the way he did." Sean watches Viggo, realizing again how early it is by Viggo's clock. They should go crawl into bed and sleep. _At least until Da goes out of the country again._

Viggo catches his mom moving quietly out of the room. While she can be annoying and all up in his business at times, she does have some tact. He moves over and wraps his arms around Sean's waist, leaning against his back. "What do you need?"

Gratefully Sean rests his arms over Viggo's. "I don't know. New parents," he adds on a snort. "Pray he doesn't send me to military boarding school. Fuck."

Viggo's arms go tighter around Sean. "No," he says without really thinking. "He can't do that." _Can't take you away from me._

"If he tries, I might have to leave home," Sean says, but then he stops. He can't talk like that; he has no idea where he'd go. It isn't as though he can really stay here. "It'll be okay." It has to be, somehow.

"Maybe...maybe he'll calm down," Viggo says. His own dad still sees him at least, and still pays out his support money. But their visits are uncomfortable, and Viggo hates them.

"You need to know, though," Sean warns quietly, and he's actually glad that Viggo's mom isn't here for this part, "he thinks you did it." With a bitter laugh, he goes on, "He thinks you made me gay."

"Seriously?" Viggo pulls back in surprise. "You can't make someone gay."

"I know that." Sean turns around and gives Viggo a look. "You know that. Fucking hell, everybody knows that but my father." Not even his mother's half-hearted "Now honey"s were any good this time.

"I love you," Viggo blurts out. It's the wrong thing at the wrong time, he's sure of it, but the words refuse to leave themselves unsaid.

Sean stares, wondering if he heard the thing he thinks he did just now. "I -- did you just...?" he asks, and then he shakes his head, gathering Viggo up again into a huge hug. "God," he breathes, "I love you too, Viggo."

"We'll...something will work out," Viggo says. He has no way to make his promise come true, but he believes it fiercely and maybe that's enough. "Really."

"Yeah," Sean agrees. He rests his hand on Viggo's arm, squeezing gently. "I'm bloody exhausted. We fought all morning. Mum was no good at all, either; she was just..." He mimics her tiredly, rolling his eyes, "'Oh, Gerald, do try to keep your voice down.' Coupla wankers, both of them."

"Come to bed with me," Viggo says. "You look like you need it." And yeah there's a double entendre in there somewhere but Viggo doesn't care. Sean does need it, he thinks, needs to be reminded of the good stuff about being gay.

"Okay," Sean sighs immediately. He catches the meaning Viggo's going for, and he's happy for it. Anything to wipe the taste of fighting with his father from his mouth.

Once they're in Viggo's bedroom, he pulls Sean close and kisses him. There are probably words for this, but Viggo hasn't had time to sit and work them out, and so, hopefully, actions will do.

Almost melting into Viggo, Sean wraps his arms tight around him and returns the kiss hungrily. He supposes part of him always knew this was coming, this blowout with Da, and Sean's just grateful he has Viggo to...well, to come home to.

Viggo can almost feel Sean calming down and he lets the kiss go gentle as he steers them to the bed. "C'mon," he says. "You'll feel better if you lie down."

"As long as you're here," Sean murmurs, tugging Viggo close as they settle down. It sounds melodramatic, but right now, this is all Sean needs. He strokes Viggo's hair back, watching his eyes. "I do love you," he murmurs quietly.

"God," Viggo murmurs. "That's...I...I want you to fuck me."

Startled, Sean grins abruptly. "Wow," he breathes. He's instantly sorry that they don't have results back from the testing they had done, but that certainly isn't going to keep him from accepting what Viggo's offering. He kisses Viggo hungrily and slides a hand up into his hair, grateful all over again.

"Mmmmm," Viggo hums into Sean's mouth. "I've uh...been practicing," he adds once they break for air.

The idea gives Sean that wicked gleam in his eye. "Have you, now?" He's moved, though; this is such an important thing, and the idea that Viggo's been thinking ahead like this makes Sean appreciate him all the more.

"Just a little," Viggo says, his face going hot. "You know...with my fingers...."

Sean feels a little guilty for teasing. "That means a lot to me." He kisses Viggo again, sliding a hand around to Viggo's back and pressing him close again.

"Feels really good, too," Viggo says with a grin as he twists and manages to squirm against Sean while reaching for the lube.

Groaning exaggeratedly, Sean mouths at Viggo's neck to give him something to think about. "You're a brat," he grins against the skin, biting lightly.

"You say that like it's news," Viggo says, his gasps ruining his attempt at a dry tone of voice. He reaches for the hem of Sean's shirt and tugs at it. "This works better if we're naked."

"You think?" Sean helps Viggo drag his shirt off and then starts in on his jeans. "God, just being here feels better," he says and then flushes, shooting Viggo an almost sheepish grin as they strip.

"I'm glad," Viggo says. He's got a lot more to say about Sean's parents but now hardly seems like a good time. He wriggles out of his jeans instead, grinning up at Sean. "See why going commando is better?"

"Much," Sean agrees. He reaches for Viggo's cock and strokes it gently. "How do you want it?" he asks, trying to consider their options.

"I read that rolling over is easier," Viggo says. "Me on my stomach I mean."

"Yeah," Sean agrees. He'd love to be suave about this, but there's no help for it: Viggo has to turn over, and Sean has to get into position and prep him. He scoots back. "Go on and get comfortable."

Viggo squirms around until he's on his stomach, not sure if he should get up on his hands and knees or stay like this. He compromises, shifting until he's got one knee drawn up under him; it's a pose he's always liked and one he's drawn more than once, copying from the nicer of the gay porn sites he's found online.

"Oh," Sean breathes, stroking his hand down Viggo's flank, "that's lovely." He bends down to kiss Viggo's back, then straightens again, casting about for supplies. "Dresser?" he asks. "Nightstand?"

"Nightstand," Viggo says, his breath going a little shaky at the feel of Sean's lips on him.

Sean likes that, and he kisses Viggo's skin again before leaning over, bracing himself on one hand to dig into the drawer.

"We're going to go slow," he assures as he moves behind Viggo and wets his fingers with the lube. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me," Viggo says, spreading his legs a little more. "I wouldn't do this with you, wouldn't love you, if I didn't trust you."

Sean tears into the condom belatedly and manages to get it on, cursing softly as his fingers slip and he has to pull rather than unroll. Once he's got it situated, he gets more lube on his fingers and pushes them between Viggo's cheeks. Viggo's offering up so much that Sean can hardly believe his good fortune. "I can't wait," he admits a little breathlessly.

"God I know," Viggo says, moaning a little as Sean's fingers go inside him. "Oh fuck that's...Sean...."

Christ, Viggo's _tight,_ and Sean can hardly stand it. "It's brilliant," he whispers, concentrating as he angles his fingers, trying to find that spot.

"Yeah, that's...the word," Viggo says, and then Sean touches something and Viggo's seeing stars behind his closed eyelids. "Oh God right there yeah again c'mon Sean...."

"Yeah?" Sean bites his bottom lip and then lets out a groan, rubbing on that spot again with two fingers, wanting to hear more of those noises out of Viggo's throat.

Squirming, Viggo does his best to press back against Sean's fingers. "God...that's so fucking...Sean it's...good...more, yeah like that...more!" He knows he's babbling but he really doesn't care; even during his own careful experimentation, he's never felt anything like this before.

Viggo's near-desperate moves are driving Sean crazy. "Get up onto both knees," he gets out. Much as he adores the position Viggo's in, it's not going to lend itself to serious fucking -- and anyway, at this point, he hardly thinks Viggo will mind changing positions.

"Okay." Viggo scrambles into position, burying his face in his pillow as he gets his ass in the air. _I'm about to get fucked,_he thinks. _Finally._

"Christ, you're beautiful," Sean whispers, shifting over behind Viggo. He grips Viggo's hip in one hand and his own cock in the other, lining up and getting ready. "You alright?" he asks softly, pressing up against Viggo's hole.

"Yeah," Viggo says, taking a quick breath. "Go...go slow, okay?"

"I will." Sean pushes forward, managing to breach Viggo slowly and get the head of his cock in, and oh _fuck_, Viggo's tight. "Jesus Christ," Sean moans, gripping Viggo's shoulder in some obscure hope it'll keep him from losing control.

It hurts, not bad, but a little, and Viggo tries to breathe through it. "Careful," he mutters, but he wants more, doesn't want Sean to stop, and so he presses back almost recklessly.

"Being careful," Sean promises, but then he's gripping Viggo's hips sharply. "Don't," he warns. "Fuck, just...slow." He doesn't know which of them he's reminding, either. He presses in gently, gritting out a shivery moan.

Viggo's just at the point where he really needs to tell Sean to stop, that he can't take it, but then he can feel Sean is all the way in and as much as it's uncomfortable, Viggo wants to wait and see if it gets better. "Don't...just don't move yet," he says behind clenched teeth.

_It has to get better, right?_

"Okay," Sean hitches out, petting Viggo's shoulder distractedly. He knows what he has to do, but he isn't going to make that move until Viggo's ready.

That Sean is obviously listening helps; Viggo takes a moment to breathe, trying to relax his muscles. After a little while it's easier and he pulls away, just a little, and then pushes back. That's okay, while it still burns, it feels good and he moans a little and does it again.

"Okay," Sean breathes again, and he scoots closer, stretching over to angle up a bit, pressing his cock downward. He thrusts very gently and _there,_ he can feel it, he's right up against Viggo's prostate.

"Oh fuck," Viggo yelps, the word 'careful" driven right out of his mind. "Yeah," he says, pushing back against Sean harder. "Oh yeah...Sean."

Christ, that's beautiful. Sean grips Viggo's hips, keeping the angle as best he can, keeping himself draped over Viggo's back mostly for the closeness of it. He's thrusting slowly, groaning out broken noises, and he desperately hopes this is as good for Viggo as it is for him.

Good doesn't begin to describe it; as Sean finds a rhythm that works for both of them, Viggo spares a moment vaguely wondering why anyone would ever want to top when getting fucked feels this good. Mostly, however, he's clutching at the blankets and moaning as Sean moves into him again and again. "So...good...God...."

Sean just groans and braces up on his elbows. He kisses Viggo's shoulders, breathing hard. He's done this a couple of times, but he could swear it's never been this _hot_.

Doing his best to keep his balance, Viggo slides a hand down and grasps his own cock. He's so close, and the familiar feel of his fingers on his dick makes him gasp. "Sean...oh fuck...close...."

"Yeah." Sean rests his cheek against Viggo's head, nodding. He speeds up his thrusts, hitching in a breath as Viggo tenses under him. "Come on, Viggo," he moans, waiting for it, hoping they can both do it together.

With a loud yelp, Viggo comes, and it's better and harder and longer than any orgasm he's ever had. _More,_ he thinks vaguely. _I'm gonna want a lot more of that._

Sean can't quite get there right as Viggo does, but he comes close. He groans hard as it jerks through him, driving him into Viggo one last time, hard and deep before he goes still, tense all over.

"God," he whispers, cupping a hand over Viggo's shoulder and then sliding it into his hair. "Viggo...thank you."

"Fuck," Viggo says, collapsing onto the bed and not caring that Sean lands on top of him. "Thank you...seriously. That was amazing." He'll write about it at some point, or maybe try to paint something. He's not sure he can capture the fierce pleasure of the act, but he knows he needs to try.

"Mmm." Sean grasps the condom and pulls back gently, settling onto his back to deal with the condom and knot it. As soon as that's done, he's curling back toward Viggo again. "You need a towel?" he murmurs, feeling intensely protective all of a sudden. "I'll go get you one."

"Just grab a t-shirt off the floor," Viggo says, reaching back and gripping Sean's hip. He feels oddly fragile; he's crossed a benchmark line in his personal history and he doesn't want to be alone right now.

"Okay." Sean rolls back, careful not to dislodge Viggo's hand on him. He offers up the shirt and wraps his arms around Viggo when the cleanup is done, holding on maybe a little too tightly. "That was incredible, Viggo," he murmurs, nuzzling into Viggo's ear.

"It was...I don't have words yet," Viggo says. "I don't feel like I'm the same person i was an hour ago. You don't have to go now, do you?" He hopes Sean won't think he's being too clingy.

"No," Sean says immediately, stroking back Viggo's hair. "No. I don't have to go any time soon." He gives Viggo a soft kiss, hoping to reassure him.

"Oh good," Viggo said, sliding his arms around Sean. "Love you."

Sean likes the way his stomach goes hot at that. "Love you, too." He strokes Viggo's hair gently, smiling. He could go to sleep now, and he's comfortable enough here, with Viggo, to do it.

_-tbc-_

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a line from the Delerium song "Magic" (feat Julee Cruise).


End file.
